All of us here, or at least most of us, know the classic answer Cain gave to the Lord when he was asked, “Where is your brother Abel?” Cain replied, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9).
This answer of Cain’s always came to my mind. I wondered if this question was asked to me: “Renilde, where is your brother?” I would not give the impudent answer that Cain did, but, for sure, ashamed, I would say: “I don’t know, Lord.”
Where are our brothers? Is it my responsibility to know where and how my brother is? Cain’s answer, as well as the one I would give, made me feel very bad. Especially when I thought about the greatness of the second greatest commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves. What would it be to love myself? How could I love, care for my brother, if I didn’t know yet what it would be to love myself? Nobody can give his brother something he does not possess. I stayed a long time trying to understand what this love would be.
Some time ago, I read in Mosiah chapter 18, verses 8-10 (Mosiah 9:38-41 RLDS):
And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
I found this scripture extremely unattainable! To carry the burdens of others, when I could not even carry my own burdens? And I went even further: I went to church constantly, I visited the afflicted in hospitals, I gave food to those who asked me, and I still thought I was a good mother within my means. I was already at my maximum!
In the month of April 2019, something happened that changed the meaning of my existence. The change was such that for a while it seemed as if my sanity was being put to the test. Cori and I met a church that apparently did not look like a church. We met a prophet who demystified every concept of a prophet that I had learned from my earliest childhood. An accessible man, that there was no need to make an appointment to talk to him. I met a book, The Sealed Book, which contained teachings unlike any I had carried in my heart about loving my neighbor. With each step I took to get to know The Sealed Book and seek more conviction in its teachings, something in me was transforming, I was gaining more peace, although I was living in a whirlwind of family health problems. This book was a milestone in my life. My perception of almost all the knowledge I had was marked between, before, and after knowing the truths contained in it.
But I still had that question: Am I my brother’s keeper? And what was so obvious to my brothers began to seep into me like a homeopathic remedy. A dense and strong scale began to fall from my eyes. My mind and heart were slowly changing. I discovered that I could only take care of my brother to the extent that I took care of myself. I had to change my feelings. I needed, and still need, to change the lens through which I see my brother. The secret of my quest is in transforming my feelings, in accordance with what I have been learning from The Sealed Book. I have begun to pray hard for new feelings to be placed in my mind and heart.
Our passport to care for each other, a matter that fails us a lot at home, is to work on our feelings. It sounds simple speaking, but it really isn’t! Today, I fight my own battle to get closer to my brothers, by working on the evil that dwells in me. I cannot care for a brother, the way the Lord expects me to, if my feelings are not compatible with what He wants me to become. While I am molding myself to the noble feelings derived from the Most High, I am still crawling toward what would be ideal in the eyes of the Lord.
To love ourselves and our neighbor necessarily implies working on our feelings. This is the great secret that the Lord has reserved to reveal to His people, in these Last Days. Developing the good feelings derived from charity, enables us not only to take care of our neighbor, but also to build up the United Order of Enoch and to exercise the Holy Priesthood according to the Order of the Only Begotten Son of God, as is well explained in The Sealed Book of Moses 3:61-62:
You can not, therefore, effect a single part of my work if there be not among you the sentiments derived from the gifts which correspond to a spark of me the Lord.
No, in no way can my people live the height of my priesthood in a united order, as it did in the days of Enoch, without the noblest and high feeling in their hearts, all derived from charity, which is the purest expression of the love of God among the children of men, much less you can effect any ministry, whether it be healing or powerful works without any of the feelings derived from this greater gift.
